What Is Bitcoin? - Project Nsearch

Guys, don't get fooled both by the current prices and future predictions good or bad. Bitcoin alone obviously cannot carry the entire crypto payment industry [LN or not]. The competition against Bitcoin is ongoing and is getting only stronger. Watch this space!

submitted by Digiff to Digibyte [link] [comments]

Why I am still Bullish on Bitcoin After Hodling it for more than 4 years

I started buying btc ( which I never sold afterwards) in 2016, and have been holding only btc since then. I continue to hold it, and even buy it, even though today my so called btc stash is 20x its original price.
Here is my opinion about btc's expected price action in next 2-3 years
submitted by parakite to Bitcoin [link] [comments]

[ Bitcoin ] Why I am still Bullish on Bitcoin After Hodling it for more than 4 years

Topic originally posted in Bitcoin by parakite [link]
I started buying btc ( which I never sold afterwards) in 2016, and have been holding only btc since then. I continue to hold it, and even buy it, even though today my so called btc stash is 20x its original price.
Here is my opinion about btc's expected price action in next 2-3 years
parakite your post has been copied because one or more comments in this topic have been removed. This copy will preserve unmoderated topic. If you would like to opt-out, please send a message using [this link].
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submitted by anticensor_bot to u/anticensor_bot [link] [comments]

I have Insomnia so I summoned The Sandman to help me sleep.

NoSleep. Ironically, I am posting this to NoSleep. You are here to read stories so scary that they will keep you up all night, I am here because I can’t fucking sleep. I haven’t slept in 3 days, and I can’t even remember the last time I got real sleep. The kind where you go to sleep and stay asleep. The kind where you naturally drift off to a relaxing sleep and not your body forcibly shutting itself down against its own will. So I am sorry if I ramble some, but I can’t help but laugh at the irony of this being on no sleep. Is that funny to you too, or just to me because I am too tired to be rational?
I have real insomnia. The kind where people think you are insane, and to be honest, they aren’t wrong. I have had it since I was in college, but it has only gotten worse and worse. I can't even remember the last time I slept. Wait? I told you that already.
I’ve been to a sleep specialist. I’ve been on every sleeping pill you can think of. Melatonin, no caffeine, no naps, Ambien, Sonata, Lunesta, silenor, antidepressants, Seroquel, Ativan, benzos, you name it, I have taken more than they recommended. Still no relief or sleep.
I know, you are not reading this to read the ramblings of a madman who hasn’t slept in days. You are here because you want a scary story. I’ve got one for you. I think it is real. To be honest, when you haven’t had a real night's sleep in months, dreams and reality start to become one big blur.
The story starts about 6 months ago, maybe? It was still winter and the virus was not a big deal yet. I remember that much for sure.
I had been up for days when a commercial came on for an over the phone psychic reading. If a doctor couldn’t help, maybe a spiritual advisor could. No, I didn’t need a psychic, what I needed was a hypnotist. You have seen them before, they can just snap their fingers and you fall asleep instantly! This is the answer to all of my prayers.
It was a scam. They had me lay down and close my eyes, then they softly started talking while I tuned out. When I woke up, she said when I go to sleep at night to relax and listen to a youtube channel that softly plays music and tells you to relax. It didn’t work at all except that every time I listen to soft background music I get the strong urge to make a grilled cheese sandwich, which is weird because I had not had one since I was maybe 9. I think she just hypnotized me to crave grilled cheese. She probably invests in the Big Cheese Industry and makes money by making people crave grilled cheese. What a waste of money.
So much for that idea. The next night I still couldn’t sleep. I decided to watch my feel-good movie: Back to the Future. During the movie, Marty goes back in time to 1955 and there is a part where a song comes on, you hear the unmistakable BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUMMMMMMM! MR. SANDMAN! BRING ME A DREAM! (That song will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. I’m not sorry.)
When I heard the song, I started to boil over in rage. Maybe it was from the lack of sleep, or maybe I am just insane, but I picked up the remote and threw it into the LED screen breaking the tv. I screamed, “THAT IS THE MOTHER FUCKER WHO HAS CURSED ME! THE FUCKING SANDMAN! I AM GOING TO FIND HIM AND KILL HIM!”
This went on for longer than I am willing to admit, but you get the point. The Sandman was my enemy. The one who is supposed to deliver us into sleep every night had decided to stop visiting me. What had I ever done to him to make him skip me every night not allowing me to sleep? The Sandman was to blame.
The Sandman was going to have to answer for these wrongs. I was determined to find a way to confront him and give him a piece of my mind. I just had to figure out how the hell you could find or trap it. At this point, I don't care if The Sandman is God himself, I was going to find him..
I thought about it for a while and decided based on movies and books, the way to call a god to you is to summon it. Sounds simple enough, Let’s do it.
Another long story short, putting candles in a circle and yelling I SUMMON YOU SANDMAN! Doesn’t work.
Again, I was back on the internet looking for someone to help me. After talking to someone I was given the email of an African Witch Doctor named Mrs. Fatima. I emailed her and she agreed to help me if I send her bitcoin. She even offered to come out for more money, but screw that, I can do it myself. Why the hell does everything have to be so difficult? Can’t people just take a credit card like the rest of the world? Always extra steps for some weird-ass digital currency crap.
Screw it, I am willing to try anything at this point. I sent her the bitcoin. Whatever the hell that is. It is expensive, I can tell you that much.
After she got the money, she replied to my email with detailed instructions and a warning. She could help me summon The Sandman, but advised against it. Summoning a dead person is dangerous, summoning a demon is disastrous, summing a God is deadly. I thought about it for less than a moment and decided to do it. What is the worst that can happen? I die and am in an endless uninterrupted sleep for eternity? Sounds like heaven to me.
Under her instructions, I waited until 2 am the following night. You can do it anytime, but the barrier between the spirit realm and the mortal world is the thinnest in the early morning hours when people are sleeping. She advised to go somewhere secluded like in the middle of the woods since it would be desolated and more likely to work. I am doing it in my bedroom, it gets the same amount of girls in it as a desolated forest. Lucky for me, I also need the blood of a virgin, so I got that covered too! Just joking, I don’t need blood.
The first thing I needed to do was draw a large circle in chalk. The circle had to be complete and above all else, not broken. The circle is the doorway between realms, if it was not complete it would not work. It also acts as an invisible wall to keep the spirit contained once you summon it. Keep the circle complete at all times. I drew a circle on my hardwood floor. Easy.
The next step was to light 5 red candles drawing a pentagram star. They have to be red because the devil is red and we are practicing devil magic, that’s my explanation, not hers.
Inside the circle, I was to fill it with sand. If you are summoning The Sandman, you need sand?
That was all I needed. Some chalk, candles, a secluded spot, and sand. I was closer than I thought earlier.
Next, the hard part, summoning a god.
The first step is to clear your mind and meditate. Most people have a hard time with this, but I have been meditating for years. They said it would help me sleep, it doesn’t. Don’t waste your time.
The next step is to concentrate on the circle, opening the pathway in your mind. Like imagining it disappearing or opening it like a door?
When your mind is clear, envision the one you are summoning. Do I just imagine what I think he looks like in my head? It’ll have to work.
When you feel the energy start to peak, only then can you summon the spirit into the realm. Call out to the spirit you desire and demand it’s presence. Do not ask. Demand it. This is your world and you must stay in control at all times. If you give up control, the spirit will be able to take control and possibly hurt or kill you.
If you do everything right, you will have summoned the spirit.
Let’s do this. I have a bone to pick with that asshole Sandman.
The circle is drawn, the candles are lit, and sand is in the circle. I turned off the lights for good measure, it wasn’t in the instructions, but it makes for a better dramatic effect.
I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. I imagined the circle in my mind as an empty white space, a void, a door, then I imagined a portal like in the video game with a blue glowing loop.
Next, I imagined The Sandman. Was he a human figure who carried sand, or a God made of sand? I kept trying back and forth, and everything in between before I finally settled on a spirit outlined in the sand.
I held my concentration on The Sandman and the opening of the portal. It felt like nothing was happening when suddenly everything changed. My eyes were shut but I could feel the energy start to build in the room. It felt like a strong storm was blowing on the outside of the house. I couldn’t physically feel the force, but I could feel the pressure growing and growing. Finally, I felt the energy reach its crescendo like something was trying to push itself through the circle into my room.
It’s time to open the gate.
“I OPEN THE PATHWAY AND DEMAND YOUR PRESENCE SANDMAN! THE DOOR IS OPEN AND I ORDER YOU TO APPEAR BEFORE ME!
I felt resistance trying to pull energy back from the door, not wanting to obey.
“SANDMAN! APPEAR BEFORE ME NOW!”
The energy in the room seemed to explode out of the circle. I opened my eyes to see the sand turning in a tornado inside the circle high above my head. I gasped in shock, wondering if I was dreaming. This couldn’t be real. Suddenly the tornado dissolved and the sand formed into a figure with red eyes staring down at me.
“WHAT MORTAL DARES TO SUMMON ME!” He roared. “WHO HAS MADE SUCH THE MISTAKE TO SUMMON A GOD!”
I may have made a mistake. The thing is, spirits and especially Gods, do not like it when mortals summon them. They have to come if you summon them, and that pisses them off. They are over there doing ghost and god stuff and get interrupted by people who can’t even walk through a wall. So if you do ever try this, just expect the ghost or demon or god to be in a pissy mood when they come. It is understandable when you think about it.
I looked up at the god, not backing down, and responded “I did.”
Sand swirled around The Sandman as he looked at me in disbelief.
“You are The Sandman, right?” I yelled at him. “You are the god of sleep, the god of dreams, right?”
“I am,” it growled.
“Then why the fuck can I not sleep?” I said. “It has been years and I am stuck awake for days at a time. Why have you done this to me?”
A deep laugh came from the circle. “You think I care about you, mortal? Do you think I waste my time on someone as insignificant as you or your kind? I am a god. A GOD! I don’t have time to waste being here talking to you. Release me!”
“I am not going to release you until you give me what I want.”
The sand settled down and it was quiet. I waited for it to respond.
“You want something from a God? What do I get out of the deal? What do you have that I could possibly want?”
“Give you something?” I asked. “You are the asshole who won’t let me sleep.”
“I am feeling generous. We can make a deal,” it said. “I will give you the ability to sleep anytime you want”
“What is the catch?”
“Ahhh! The catch. Smarter than you look.” He said. “I am the God of Sleep and Dreams. You can sleep, but I will control your dreams.”
”Can’t you do that anyway?” You are the God of Dreams”
“Do we have a deal or no? Answer me before I change my mind.”
Damn it. I know he is playing me as a fool. Fuck it, I’ll solve my sleep problem now and worry about the catch later.
“We have a deal, Sandman.”
“A deal it is” he laughed. “Anytime you wish to sleep just say Mr. Sandman, Give me a dream.’ And you will be asleep in less than a minute.”
“You gotta be kidding me.”
“My game. My rules.” He said. “Now release me.”
“You are released.”
“See you in your dreams!”
The energy that had filled the room evaporated into thin air, the sand fell back into the circle, the candles went dark, and The Sandman was gone.
Was that real or am I hallucinating again? And damn! What even happened there? I was ready to cuss him out and he somehow took control of the encounter. Shit! Mrs. Fatima warned me it could be deadly if he took control. Then again, he made a deal and I can finally sleep.
What is done is done. I blew out the candles and decided to put our deal to the test. He will allow me to sleep anytime I want, real sleep, he will just be controlling my dreams. I’ve had nightmares, what happens in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there. Right?
It was 4:15 am. I turned off the lights, turned the fan on high, and put on some calming music and prepared to lay in bed awake for hours on end. I said the magic words As soon as I closed my eyes, I was out like a rock.
The dream started. I was back five minutes earlier saying “What happened in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there, right?” There was an echo repeating the same phrase back to me. That isn’t a good start.
I laid down in bed, just like before and closed my eyes trying to sleep but this time no sleep came, like always. I sat there for hours trying to sleep. I meditated, listened to calm music making me crave grilled cheese, and tried to will myself to sleep. My dream self was exhausted and on the verge of tears from being unable to sleep.
The Sandman’s idea of a joke is to give me insomnia in my dreams so I couldn’t escape it. Funny joke, but as long as I wake up refreshed I don’t care.
I looked at the clock and it was 7:45 and the sun was up or would be if I didn’t have the windows blacked out. Too exhausted to get up I laid in bed and prayed for sleep.
A moment later, the red candles flickered to life in a star pattern, the room went cold, then the sand started to swirl up into the air. The Sandman appeared in the circle.
My body stiffened, I couldn’t move a muscle, not even to close my eyes. Is this what sleep paralysis feels like? I thought back to my email with Mrs. Fatima and remembered as long as the circle was complete he would be stuck inside.
“That is only true when you’re awake. You’re in my world now,” he laughed as he floated across the circle to my bedside. “You brought me to your world, now I have you in mine. A deal is a deal.”
Ah shit. I knew taking his deal was a bad idea. Never negotiate with a god. You will never come out ahead. I tried to answer him but I was still paralyzed.
“Do you know the legend of The Sandman? The original story? The real story?” He stood over me.
Everyone knows the legend. He comes at night, sprinkles sand in your eyes so you will sleep well and have good dreams. You wake up with sand in your eyelashes.
“Wrong!” He yelled. “That is a story told much later after I left the mortal world to stop people from fearing me. You are about to find out the real legend of The Sandman.
I laid in bed unable to move, my eyes held open by some imaginary force, staring at him in fear.
He held out his hand in front of my face and blew. I felt the wind on my face followed by the sand. The awful awful sand. Unable to close my eyes the sand blanketed my eyes. I could feel every grain of sand stick to my eyes.
Finally, I had control of my eyes again and started to blink uncontrollably. Each blink the sand grinded deeper and deeper into my eyeballs and eye socket. Each blink felt like shards of glass cutting my eyes. My eyes became watery and started to tear up but it wasn’t tears but blood leaking down my face. The pain engulfed my face but I couldn’t move, only involuntary blinking trying to clear the sand from my eyes. Each blink the sand cut farther and farther into my eyes. The pain became excruciating like someone had stuck a red hot fire poker in each eye. I wanted to scream out but nothing else worked on my body. Then the pain disappeared.
I assumed I had blacked out or went unconscious but that doesn’t happen in dreams and I wasn’t that lucky. Instead, I felt a weird sensation on my eyeballs then the feeling of water being poured into my eye. When it stopped, my vision started to appear again, blurry at first but clearing. I could see a sandy palm and fingers like I was being carried in The Sandman’s hand.
“The legend of The Sandman isn’t that he comes to put sand in your eyes to help you sleep, he comes to put sand in your eyes to steal eyeballs of kids who stay up too late.” He said. “I’m making an exception for you.”
He opened his palm and I could see my lifeless body, still in bed, not moving, the face covered in blood with empty holes as eye sockets. I am seeing myself from my own eyeballs. What the fuck, even for a dream this is fucked up. Luckily the pain had stopped, for now.
“Do you know what happens next in the legend? Do you know what I do with the eyeballs I steal” He asked like I could to respond. I didn’t know the answer but I knew I was about to find out.
“Right you are. Close your eyes, It’’s a surprise.” He laughed. “Get it? You can’t! You have no eyelids. Hahaha”
Excuse me for not thinking the joke is funny, being the butt of the joke.
“He pointed my eyes toward the moon and asked, “Do you like The Dark Side of the Moon?”
What the hell does the Pink Floyd album have to do with anything? Who doesn’t like it?
“Great. Let’s take a trip there. You’re dreaming so we can be there in, what would you say, a blink of an eye?”
Fucking funny. A moment later, we were on the dark side of the moon. It looked like the moon, but dark. He walked into a crater and I started to hear cries. Not like human cries, more like an animal cry. Not just one animal but a bunch. The cries got louder and louder. Even in a dream, I knew something bad was about to happen.
We finally arrived at what I would call a nest. Not your typical earth nest, but an enclosure that held a bunch of giant ugly bird-like featherless babies. Not dinosaur big, but big enough. Each bird-like creature was lifting its beak up in the air crying for its parents to bring it back food. What the fuck kind of food was available on the moon or in space is beyond my understanding, but that’s exactly what my eyes were seeing.
“After I steal the eyeballs, I bring them back here and feed them to the birds. In your world, you may throw bread out to the birds for a treat. In my world, I feed them your eyes.”
Fuck. Can I wake up now? I really don’t feel like being eaten by a giant alien baby bird thing.
“The legend says I fed them to my children, but that is the part they got wrong.” He said. “Sweet dreams, prince.”
He tossed my eyes into the air into the waiting mouth of one of these creatures. I saw it’s beak close as my eyeballs exploded into a gooey mess.
The dream ended and I woke up in a panic. I tried to open my eyes but they were sealed shut. I lifted my hands, happy I could move again, and felt my eyelids crusted over with sand. I cleared them the best I could but needed a warm compress to clean all the salt out. When I finally opened my eyes, they hurt. Everything had happened in the dream, but somehow my eyes felt sore.
I thought back to what I said and heard in my dream, “It is just a dream, nothing can hurt me there.” It is true, I wasn’t really hurt, but I’ve never woken up feeling pain I got from a dream. What is going on?
Still, If I dreamed, that means I slept! A nightmare isn’t so bad if I get real sleep. The dream felt like it lasted hours, a few more nights of this and I will have a somewhat normal sleep schedule and feel rested. I looked at the clock to see it was 4:30. I slept 12 hours and 15 minutes. Amazing!
I opened the door to my room and walked into the kitchen and it was still dark. That can’t be right. It should be 4:30 pm, the middle of the afternoon. Did I sleep for 24 hours straight? I looked at my phone and saw the date. My heart dropped. I had only slept for 15 minutes. It is like dreams take place in another dimension where time doesn’t exist. The Sandman was able to torture me for hours in dream time while allowing me to sleep for a few minutes. I cried. Seriously, I cried like a baby.
He held up his end of the bargain, I can fall asleep any time I want to, except now I am afraid to go to sleep. Everytime I fall asleep, he takes me away to his realm and gives me nightmare after nightmare. Every dream is one where he does something horrible to me and my dream self feels every bit of excruciating pain. And he never allows me to sleep more than an hour at the most.
I eventually accepted my fate. He is going to torture me, but it is all a dream. I will wake up feeling mostly normal. Then things changed. It is like he knew I had stopped fighting, so he found a new way to hurt me. Instead of hurting me in my dreams, he started to make me watch him hurt people I loved in their dreams. I didn’t think it was real until I heard from my sister about how my niece has been having terrible nightmares and refusing to go to sleep. When she described her dreams, I already knew, because I was there too.
That has been my life for the past however many months. Instead of trying to take medicine or listen to music or having The Sandman put me to sleep, I try to use my insomnia to stay awake for as long as my body will withstand it. I drink coffee and energy drinks, I take adderall, but eventually sleep always comes, even if for short periods. No matter how hard you fight it, your body will always sleep, and the Sandman will be there waiting on me.
submitted by LandoCommandoe to nosleep [link] [comments]

Biblical End Time Events: The Truth Unfolded (A Super Conspiracy) Part 1

Biblical End Time Events: The Truth Unfolded (A Super Conspiracy) Part 1
I run a web company. On our homepage we offer free quotes. On August 11, 2020, I received the following "free quote request":

Free Quote Request: This Google doc exposes how this scamdemic is part of a bigger plan to crush your business and keep it closed or semi-operational (with heavy rescritions) while big corporations remain open without consequences. This Covid lie has ruined many peoples lives and businesses and is all done on purpose to bring about the One World Order. It goes much deeper than this but the purpose of this doc is to expose the evil and wickedness that works in the background to ruin peoples lives. So feel free to share this message with friends and family. No need to reply to the email i provided above as its not registered. But this information will tell you everything you need to know. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HOZcA9jQlS2ngj4cspGv-F4Bu-E84Rj2Vr-u__Nuw5w/edit

The following is the contents of the google doc broken up into 3 parts due to its massive length.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
This is part 1/3:

Here is a quick synopsis of Bill Gates Vaccine/Microchip and the Mark of the Beast as mentioned in the bible

PROOF~THE NEW WORLD ORDER IS RISING. ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST TODAY!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGHzSUEgx_E&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
A Military-Funded Biosensor Could Be the Future of Pandemic Detection
https://www.defenseone.com/technology/2020/03/military-funded-biosensor-could-be-future-pandemic-detection/163497/
The final days. What REALLY happens when you take the Microchip? 2/12/2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39B4OPukuAQ&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
The Master Plan
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oaJpKkFTlI&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
ALERT! Pandemic is Planned! Bill Gates ID2020 Exposed!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aR7cz30chE&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
This will give you the Total Understanding you need in this Hour!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_UhcFqyKco&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
Microsoft submits a patent for the microchip. This is a legit patent site and a legit patent. You can't make this stuff up.
WO2020060606 = World Order 2020 666
Publication Number WO/2020/060606
Publication Date 26.03.2020
Applicants MICROSOFT TECHNOLOGY LICENSING, LLC [US/US]; One Microsoft Way Redmond, Washington 98052-6399, US
Microsoft patents cryptocurrency system using body data
https://patentscope.wipo.int/search/en/detail.jsf?docId=WO2020060606&tab=PCTBIBLIO
The connection between the vaccine, the microchip, and how they link to The Mark of the Beast
Although you see information in regards to Bill Gates's vaccine as well as the microchip patent submitted by Microsoft recently, a conclusive parallel we can draw from both of these things is the microchip could very well be within the vaccine itself (within the syringe needle that is) as a single event or the vaccine and microchip will be administered in 2 different events (which i highly doubt given with what is currently going on).
Either way, I ask those reading this document, to never take the vaccine/microchip whether these are administered at the same time or not, as they represent the Mark of the Beast.
Essentially, the evil powers that be will push for a cashless society using this plandemic (eventually saying it's not safe to handle cash), and in doing so, if people want to continue to buy and sell, then they must take the vaccine/microchip to signify they are deemed "safe" enough to return back into society. Basically the microchip will act as your new digital wallet in which it will be used to buy and sell things. But before this happens the evil powers that be will purposely crash all currencies (to make them worthless; look at the biblical verse Ezekiel 7:19 below) so they can usher in their version of bitcoin type of cryptocurrency in conjunction with the microchip.
Ezekiel 7:19 King James Version (KJV)
19 They shall cast their silver in the streets, and their gold shall be removed: their silver and their gold shall not be able to deliver them in the day of the wrath of the Lord: they shall not satisfy their souls, neither fill their bowels: because it is the stumblingblock of their iniquity.
During this time many people will be fooled into taking the Mark of the Beast because they will have trusted their governments, false teachers/prophets, and mainstream media without carefully reading what the bible has to say about the Mark of the Beast.
Despite all this info, one thing is for sure, if you cannot buy or sell, or continue life normally as you used to unless you take the vaccine/microchip, then you will know this is the Mark of the Beast as mentioned in the Bible.

Revelation 13:16-18 King James Version (KJV)

16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:
17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
18 Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

https://preview.redd.it/6e6k1zcd50h51.png?width=935&format=png&auto=webp&s=4d58f1ed953c0fe312c6c54ba33d17b1a35f54d5

https://preview.redd.it/dd3uo8df50h51.png?width=899&format=png&auto=webp&s=4b09e65929de4059d0e4789d53d3dea1da83d026

LUCIFERASE - BILL GATES QUANTUM DOT MICRONEEDLE VACCINE TO ALTER YOUR DNA

https://www.bitchute.com/video/XSvEKJKAUiBD/
Luciferase Quantum Dot COVID-19 Vaccinations - The Bill and Melinda Gates Satanic Agenda (Video)
https://www.thelightinthedarkplace.com/2020/05/luciferase-quantum-dot-covid-19-vaccinations.html
An Invisible Quantum Dot 'Tattoo' Could Be Used to ID Vaccinated Kids
https://www.sciencealert.com/an-invisible-quantum-dot-tattoo-is-being-suggested-to-id-vaccinated-kids
It's a Beautiful day in BILL'S neighborhoodhttps://youtu.be/DoLOtwUcHgg?t=1175
The Bible is very clear: If you take the Mark of The Beast, you will be cast into the Lake of Fire!!!
Revelation 14:9-11 King James Version (KJV)
9 And the third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive his mark in his forehead, or in his hand,
10 The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb:
11 And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.
To help you understand the cashless society/microchip narrative, here is some evidence in regards to that:
1. THE C-19 WILL LEAD TO THE MARK OF THE BEAST....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9VbNx--MP4&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
2. One ID To Rule Them All - Preparing The Way For The RFID Chip
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7p8Si-rCLOo&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
3. RFID Chip is Mark of the Beast - (Testimony of Carl Saunders the RFID Chip Inventor)**Must Watch*\*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7y3S539tt4&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
4. First Time Ever: 700 Employees Face the Microchip Implant at Work
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ot4qqSmLxI&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
5. Why human microchipping is so popular in Sweden | ITV News
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWVQR99bXt8&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
6. Two Prophetic Dreams / God Warns About What's Coming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGcnFPZX8UU&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
7. Sweden sees microchip implant revolution | Al Jazeera English
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dl_gemn9a9E&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
8. ID, Wallet, Keys All In Your Hand: Sweden Moves Into The Future With Microchipping | Nightly News
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksw-arKvMPk&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
If you want to learn more, I have put together a playlist of 500+ videos (always adding new videos everyday) that bases itself around biblical end time prophecies through people's dreams, visions, along with other videos that expose the evil and wicked things the higher powers that be, have planned for us. This playlist helps bring the darkness into light while connecting the dots relating to the bible. I hope this information serves you well in uncovering the real truth.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup
I have a lot more info to share. In case you want a more detailed breakdown of the many things that are happening, here it is:
Bill Gates is a wicked man. I'll break down the evidence for you in a series of videos located down below.
1. Innovating to zero! | Bill Gates
https://youtu.be/JaF-fq2Zn7I?t=236
Bill gates mentioned back in 2010 about reducing the global population through vaccines video starts around 3:56 min
2. Bill Gates Caught Funding Netflix Docuseries PANDEMIC #coronaviruses #VirusCorona #virus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En3-eHyf68c&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
Bill gates funded the netflix series called "Pandemic" which was in production 6 months prior to the virus outbreak in Wuhan China. Not only did he fund it, but the netflix series paints Bill gates as a savior in his fight to "save lives" and mysteriously releases a few days after the virus was breaking out in Wuhan China.
3. Event 201 Pandemic Exercise: Highlights Reel
https://youtu.be/AoLw-Q8X174
Bill gates funded the event 201 that was hosted back in Nov 2019 which was 3 months prior to the virus outbreak in Wuhan China. Event 201 was used to conduct a fake simulation pandemic of a virus to see how the world would respond. Funny enough, the first 40 seconds of the event 201 use the "corona virus" as the test simulation virus in this event.
4. Bill Gates of Hell Video Series. Here is part 1 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jo5e7qS85ZI&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index)
The B!LL GATES of HELL | C0R0NA VIRUS (PART 2)(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AklgUzN9TcA&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index).
5. The B!LL Gates of HELL (part 3)The C0R0NA DRAGON
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpKPFx3rTp4&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
Bill Gates funded the research of the virus through the pilbright institute and not only does bill gates have the patent on the virus he also holds the cure/vaccine which he will try to get us to take. The original video that was uploaded was deleted and when the video was reuploaded, the content creator went back to the same website to check on Bill Gates having patented the virus and low and behold, that very website scrubbed bill gate's name from it
  1. Bill Gates funds the ID2020 initiative in which they (globalist elite) want to track us using digital IDs which are very very wicked and satanic. This digital ID is part of the mark of the beast system. https://id2020.org/
  2. This is all planned based on the Georgia Guidestones in which I quote "maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature". If you want picture proof of that you can visit this site https://www.auricmedia.net/tag/georgia-guidestones/
All of what Bill Gates is doing is trying to get us to take the Vaccine/Microchip which is the mark of the beast as mentioned in the bible. If you Go to your KJV (King James Version) bible and read Revelation 13:16-18 you will understand the meaning behind all this.
Revelation 13:16-18 King James Version (KJV)
16 And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:
17 And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
18 Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

If you take the Mark of the Beast, this is what happens

Revelation 14:9-11 King James Version (KJV)
9 And the third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, If any man worship the beast and his image, and receive his mark in his forehead, or in his hand,
10 The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb:
11 And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

If you refuse the Mark of the Beast, this is what happens

Revelation 20:4 King James Version (KJV)
4 And I saw thrones, and they sat upon them, and judgment was given unto them: and I saw the souls of them that were beheaded for the witness of Jesus, and for the word of God, and which had not worshipped the beast, neither his image, neither had received his mark upon their foreheads, or in their hands; and they lived and reigned with Christ a thousand years.
All of what you see, the bible foretells us of what will happen and what is to come. The wicked elite planned all of this to happen. It was all planned by design. To usher in their one world order agenda using the virus as a scapegoat, to decimate world economies where people will lose their homes, businesses, and possessions. People will be starving during these times, and there will be chaos in the streets in due time. This is so the anti christ can rush in and save the day by getting you to take this evil vaccine/microchip/mark of the beast as the bible foretells us. That is why we are called unto repentance of our sins everyday and have faith in Jesus Christ who died on the cross for our sins, was buried, and rose again on the 3rd day. In times like these, we are called to pray because there will be massive destruction from both man and God in the last days.
The tribulation will last 7 years and billions of people will die from this. Not only that, but there will be 21 judgments (7 seals, 7 vials, and 7 bowls) from God throughout the 7 years with which each judgement will be worse off than the last until the 2nd coming of Christ. These judgements are meant for people who did not repent of their sins (living in a constant sinful and ungodly lifestyle), and/or reject the word of God along with not having faith in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour who died on the cross for ALL our sins, was buried, and rose again on the 3rd day.
Because of what is happening around us, it will continue to get worse. They do this so people will be desperate enough to stop the pain. And the elites will present the vaccine/microchip/mark of the beast as the cure for the people's pain. But those that take the mark of the beast will live during the 7 years of tribulation until the 2nd coming of Christ in which Jesus Christ will come back to earth and kill those who took the mark of the beast and cast them to hell. During the 7 year tribulation, those that took the Mark of the Beast actually suffer from the 1st bowl judgement that is poured out. Here is that verse:
**Revelation 16:1-2 King James Version (KJV)**16 And I heard a great voice out of the temple saying to the seven angels, Go your ways, and pour out the vials of the wrath of God upon the earth.
2 And the first went, and poured out his vial upon the earth; and there fell a noisome and grievous sore upon the men which had the mark of the beast, and upon them which worshipped his image.
When you take the mark of the beast, it changes your DNA conforming yourself with the beast, which is satan. Once you take the mark of the beast, you will be damned to hell and eventually be casted into the lake of fire as the final destination place forever and there is no coming back.
This information is not to be taken lightly. If you're interested to learn more of the evil and wickedness that is planned before us, here is a 500+ youtube playlist (and growing everyday) of all things relating to the end times as the bible describes.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup
I encourage you to share this information with friends and family to help them understand the times we are living in.
We are called to pray everyday in order to repent (turn away) from our sins and to have faith in Jesus Christ, who died on the cross for all our sins, was buried, and rose again on the 3rd day. It's important to repent daily because we sin on a daily basis whether we commit intentional sin or not. Also, pray daily because you are never promised a tomorrow.
John 3:16-21 King James Version (KJV)
16For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
18He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
19And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
20For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
21But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.
John 14:6 King James Version (KJV)
6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 King James Version (KJV)
9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
Revelation 21:8 King James Version (KJV)
8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
1 Peter 5:6-8 King James Version (KJV)
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Matthew 6:24 King James Version (KJV)
24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.
Revelation 3:16 King James Version (KJV)
16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
Matthew 7:21-23 King James Version (KJV)
21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

The Dangers of the Once Saved Always Saved Doctrine

Why so many professing Christians will be left behind! The dangers of OSAS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wb_qb1XHNQ&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
Is Once Saved Always Saved Biblical?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IMIHljWBSg&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
Is Once Saved Always Saved Biblical? (Different Youtube Channel)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIXYRkTe7gc&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
Once Saved Always Saved? I went to the Outer Darkness (Hell) for unfaithful christians!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOHHE4r0FGw&list=PLm9W9PpTsiQp7pzG6cnmf4iByUo45suup&index
Although we are called to repent of our sins and have faith in Jesus Christ who died on the cross for all of our sins, biblical scripture also tells us that we must be born again, through water baptism, in order to enter into the kingdom of God. Here are some biblical verses that expand on that:
John 3:3-5 King James Version (KJV)
3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
Matthew 28:19-20 King James Version (KJV)
19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
If you would like to understand what is water baptism and why Christians do it, here is a video that helps explain it better:

What is Water Baptism and Why do we Do it? | Q&A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP5n_xbn5_U
If you would like to undergo a free water baptism, here is a worldwide map of those who can perform water baptisms within your community for free!
Here is the link: https://map.thelastreformation.com/
The Last Reformation also has a youtube channel if you would like to check it out
The Last Reformation
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJXcYb9zYJ8_QA3Bcg5Fe2g
submitted by twenty7lies to conspiracy [link] [comments]

Jon-Chan and the Summit of Mount Dewnali: The Two Betrayals

As dawn broke, the Neckbeardians woke
In the arid Chadlands were they had rest, to see crags and hills that they must crest
To face the chads, normies and stacys too, their enemies numerous whilst they are a few
All these threats to find their MOM, for her tendies were the bomb
The expedition has grown worn under the scorching sky, their angst at an all time high

"Hey Joey could you walk a lil faster?" asked Hunter "The crags don't offer much room to get around you."
"Sorry bud, I just gotta jot a few things down real quick."
The neckbeardians were travelling single file through the jagged crags of Mount Deadlift, safe away from its steep mountainside. Still, the jagged rocks offered very little room to maneuver, some of the neckbeardians had their rucksack caught on jutting stone or sparse, tough vegetation that managed to survive and grow within the crags.
"Bro, c'mon you can write your lame ass poems later your holding up the line" complained a visibly pissed off Hunter.
Joey turned his back towards Hunter, only to find several of the Beards exhausted and barely holding formation "I'ma say X to doubt bud, besides whats your hurry anyway?"
"I ain't in no hurry fuck you!"
"Right back at you bud" Joey replied without looking back.
"You realize I'm a minor right?"
"Oh! Do you mine coal or Bitcoin?"
"Quit playin asshat!" Hunter then proceeds to adjust his step, so that he can stomp on the back of Joeys boots with every step.
After several blows to his heel, Joey performed a 180 faster than an Nice GuysTM attitude after getting rejected. "Alright listen you little shit-"
"Is there a problem gentlemen?"
Hunter look up past Joey, who also frantically turned around to discover Incelliot Rodger looming over them. "Your outrageous barking and whining could alert our presence to the enemy. I would prefer you fools to be quiet, rather than to attract Chad and his whorish hordes."
Incelliot looks towards the piece of parchment and pen that are in Joeys hands.
"Is this really worth the fuss?"
"Well, maybe not the trouble, but I sure wouldn't say its worthless." Joey replied "A poem can be a wonderful short retelling of our deeds and how we felt, wouldn't you agree?"
Incelliot didn't say a word. Instead he grabbed the parchment and proceeded to tear it into several pieces, discarding it into the dirt. "Now you have nothing, thus you have nothing to cry about". Incelliot turned around to follow the path. "Also, poems are for betas..."
Joey was particularly disheartened, his long nose became a pathway for a single tear as the worlds tiniest violin played. A sympathetic Hunter then patted his annalist friend on the back "Wow, what a dickhead".

Jon-Chan and forward element of neckbeards were perched and laying prone on the edge of a cliffside, scouting the valley below. Several, treacherous mountain ranges walled off the arid, flatland at the belly of the valley. Through their binoculars the neckbeardians could see sparse vegetation and trees, which isn't enough cover from the scorching rays of the sun or the watchful Chadian eyes.
The scouts were bored out of their minds, as they saw nothing in the valley below. One neckbeardian with a greasy ginger neckscruff and an ahegao hoodie (We'll call him...pervbeard) was so bored that he decided to piss in an empty bottled of water and stored it in his hoodie. The bastard reeked of ammonia and hot cheese, the stench cause the other two scouts to recoil and vomit.
Jon-Chan, set down his binoculars to scratch his ass, finding satisfaction in his search and with the disappearance of the itch on his left ass cheek.
"Alright, the coast looks clear. Lets tell everyone that were heading down there".
"Uh Jon I'm not sure going down right now would be a smart idea...we could get spotted by a patrol". said Pervbeard.
"What are you pervbeard, is you a bitch or what? afraid of a few chads?" Jon-Chan decided now would be a good time to put Incelliots lessons to the test. He had to show he was a conqueror.
"N-no Jon-Chan I just don't think we should take any needless risk" Pervbeard stammered.
"If your so afraid of a little risk, then I suggest you tuck tail and go to the back of the marching order! Coward!". Jon-Chan gave Pervbeard an educational slap across the forehead. As pervbeard stood up and fled from the belligerent CWC-born, the two other scouts watched with worry. However, their gazes were averted as Jon-Chan turned towards them yelling at them to get back to their survey.
Jon-Chan felt as if he had more control, more options than he did before. Smacking that scout was refreshing, cathartic. He felt as if so much angst had just disappeared in the moment, when he bruised the neckbeardians head. However, after the slap he felt even more anxious that those others had noticed him. It did feel good to remind them who the CWC-born was. He looked forward to the next time he could put someone in their place.
Incelliot approached shortly after Pervbeard departed "Excellent Jonathon, you showed that cuck what a true gentleman is. For a true gentleman isn't to be questioned be his lessers."
"Yeah he was a cuck isn't he?" Jon-Chan replied skiddishly.
"I suppose we shall be going through the valley? Good, that way we won't have to traverse the crags or the mountain side, we could get to Dewtonia quicker this way as well."


After an hour of resting in the cramped crags and on the cliffs edge, the neckbeardians descended from the cliff side and into the valley below. Upon their arrival the expedition extended themselves immediately, eager to distance themselves from one another and their foul stenches.
Jonathon went to rest under a small tree that was barely taller than himself. Upon nearing the tree, he notice that near the top of the tree grow a rather cumbersome looking black fruit. He circled around the tree to find that odd and large onyx fruits were mare plastic than organic and had the label "Whey" stenciled into them.
"That must be a Whey Tree" said an awestruck Joey "The Chads would migrate for hundreds of miles just to mix and consume the smallest teaspoon of protein power in these things".
"Blegh, just a stupid tree. I bet it taste like ass."
Joey was a little puzzled, but then smirked saying "Are you talking about the tree itself or the"
Jon-Chan sighed at Joey pitiful jokes and was about to make a comment until he was interrupted by a certain gentleman.
"Alright Jonathon, enough time has been wasted. We must move on" demanded Incelliot.
"Wait just a darn tootin minute Rodgers!" Joey objected.
"Ah, the scroll boy who couldn't move faster than a tortoise, is now approaching me with the speed of a train. Finally you have some pep in your step." Incelliot crossed his arms, his face becoming more smug than Pepe.
"Shuddup you jackass! We shouldn't be moving in the open during the day! We're too exposed and we'll likely be dead before we reach Hentaiopolis!"
"Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice that I-... I, you, and everyone else should take. After all, how will you feed the people of Basementia, your loved ones? Or will you let them perish because they lacked the necessary tendies to survive."
"Its likely that none of us will survive if we get ambushed by even one Chad!" Joey hissed, whilst slamming his left fist into his open right hand. "Jon-Chan we can't go do this, we should wait till dark when they can't see us. Please listen to me!"
"NO! NO! NO!" shouted the virgin with rage. "We stick to the plan, we can't just puss out whenever we FEEL scared. Quit being a cuck!".
"Jon-Chan don't be dumb" said Hunter "We really shouldn't take any risk to get to Dewtonia, we have plenty of time before-".
Jon-Chan slapped a Whey Protein fruit from the tree directly into Hunter. Upon impact the plastic fruit shattered and a thick cloud of chocolate protein powder covered the two neckbeardians.
"STOP TRIVIALIZING EVERYTHING I SAY YOU TROLL! STOP ATTACKING ME!"
The whole expedition had their attention towards the incident. It was uncertain as to whether Hunter was crying due to the intense exposure to the protein powder or due to Jons outburst. Jon could see everyone, Joey, Damien, Rebecca, Spearbeard, Thirstbeard, and the rest of his brothers in arms casted gazed of discontent at him.
"You know what Jonathon, the night we fought against those Karens was the night I began to think of you as someone truly special" admitted Joey "You were able let yourself become inviting, vulnerable, and to some extent you cared about your fellow man. But I see that it was a fluke. Your just like all the other people back in Basementia, you could care less about those around you. You just want your tendies, your waifus, and whatever else you can get out of this mission! Its especially evident, now that you are disregarding our safety to finish this as quickly as you can." Joey's face became redder and redder than a beet, with tears dripping down his face. "Fuck you Jon-Chan!".
Jonathon was irate at his loss of controlled. He thought to charge and pummel the Annalist for his disrespect. That was until Spearbeard toppled backwards and spazzed out like an upside-down cockroach on cocaine.
The neckbeards looked around and darted for cover in the sparse foliage. Jon-Chan, Joey, and Incelliot took cover behind a rock next to the incapacitated spearbeard, only to find a syringe with fin stabilizers embedded into spearbeards chest. "Holy shit, its a steroid syringe! Theres a Chad sniper out there!" shouted Thirstbeard.
Out from the crags behind the Neckbeardians came a series of war cries screaming "BRUUUUUUH!!!!!111111".
Several hundred marauding Chads and normies poured out of the crags and from the mountains. You can literally smell the axe body spray as they made their descent. One Chad was using a normie as a makeshift snowboard to descend down the mountain, the normie took selfies of himself as human sports equipment just to tag Chad in his Instagram post.
"Shit what are we gonna do Incelliot!" Jon-Chan asked, only to find Incelliot wasn't next to him, but running away in the opposite direction of the crags. "RUN!"
As the expedition ran, hundreds of steroid syringes and dodge balls rained down upon them from the mountain, striking several of the neckbeardians, killing them instantly.
"Remember" Joey started to say "Always move in a serpentine pattern!"
Some of the neckbeardians did move in a serpentine, only to stumble into one another and be left behind to be annihilated by the chads. "Oops, didn't mean for that to happen".
After a minute of running, the barrage stopped. Jon-Chan turned his head back towards the crags, only to discover several dozen Chads and normies gaining on them.
Pervbeard was the slowest of the herd. He was tackled by an alpha chad wearing a tap-out shirt and shades. Pervbeard managed to give the Chad a swift punch to the dick, yet Chads Magnum dong was as hard as titanium, which crushed pervbeards hand on impact.
In a last ditch effort, Pervbeard pulled out his piss jug from his ahegao shirt and performed Naruto Hand movements, despite his broken hand. The piss jug shook and seconds later erupted in a molten hot fragmentation of urine and plastic, consuming the chad and several approaching normies, ending the lives of all caught in the golden blast.
The Chads were rapidly gaining on the neckbeardians. Those who were lagging stood their ground to fight the Chads, slowing down their advance for their friends to escape. Yet, one by one neckbeardians were dropping like a simps bank account.
After several minutes of running through the valley, Jon-Chan and a cluster of neckbeardians reach the crags on the other side, taking cover within the natural fortification. Jon looked around to find Joey, Hunter, thirstbeard, and Incelliot in his presence. He found no sign of any of the others such as Damien or Rebecca in their midst. Perhaps they had fallen to the Chads.
"We gotta get outta here!" yelled a terrified thirstbeard.
"That horde is just going to hound our ass to wherever we mosey onto!" exclaimed Joey.
"No...not us" Incelliot said "Him"
Incelliot was pointing his fingers at Hunter, who was covered from head to toe in Whey protein powder. "They can track his scent; The Chads lust for protein"
"I can just wash it off!" stammered Hunter, who was already pouring some of his water on the protein powder. The Whey powder coagulated into a semi-solid matter, that stick to the arm and cloak of Hunter. Hunter desperately tried to lick it off, only to discover it foul taste. That Whey fruit was ripe.
"I-I-I can't get it off! Oh no!"
"Its okay bud, we'll try another way" Joey said, trying to calm his friends nerves.
"There's no time, we must leave the boy behind" Incelliot said, drawing his sword.
"WHAT IN TARNATION! Incelliot I know we don't see eye to eye, but that has to be the most cutthroat thing for even the likes of your self!" Joey then drew a blade as well, directing it towards the Supreme Gentleman. "We don't leave our own behind, what kind of world do you live in!?"
Thirstbeard then drew his Katana, raising it in the air, charging at Saint Rodgers with the speed of ten Lightning McQueens. As Thirstbeard neared his opponent, he let out a "TENNO HENTAI! BANZAI!" only to be silence and to be halved be Incelliots own blade.
Incelliot then slashed at Joeys legs, incapacitating the Annallist. Hunter drew a dagger and stabbed the Incel in the chest, right before being cut down by Incelliots sword.
"No- Hunter, Jon-Chan help!" beckoned a weak, bleeding Joey. However, Jon-Chan was frozen, uncertain of what he ought to do.
Incelliot walked in a determined, heavy stride towards Joey and pointed his weapon towards the poor neckbeards face "Welcome to my twisted world".
Joey's breathing seized after the sword was lodged right into his breast, ending the Annalist life. Incelliot then dug into the Annalist rucksack, removing a map to Dewtonia.
"You won't be needing this" Incelliot then turned to Jon-Chan, who was clutching his Sonichu Medallion, staring at the man who killed his friend. I do hope your intent was to not kill me with that. If so, prepare to be disappointed"
"You killed them; You killed my friends!"
"The very same friends who were just about to mutiny and leave your side" retorted the armored incel, chuckling maniacally "You were better off without them slowing you down" Incelliot steadily approached Jon-Chan, his eyes focused upon those of the CWC-born.
"Together we can find MOM, return to Basementia and wage a war against these monsters. Their 'sacrifices' will not be in vain, my friend. We restore neckbeardia and the Incels to their rightful place!"
"I-I can't, not like this Incelliot" Jon-Chan tried to back away, only to find his retreat to be shadowed by Incelliots advances.
"Well, if that is the case. Remember, that the foolish and indecisive will be left behind by history."
Jon-Chan ducked and rolled past Incelliot, grabbing thirstbeards Katana after landing on his feet. As Incelliot charged, Jon-Chan propelled himself towards his enemy like a coiled spring, using his masters training and techniques against him. Incelliots slowly retreated, reacting swiftly to Jon-Chans furious blows. The two were engaging in a fluid and furious dance of sweat, blood, and steel. The two duelist eventually made their way towards the edge of the crags, overlooking another valley in the Deadlift Mountain range.
Jon-Chan managed to land a blow on incelliots armor, causing the incel saint to stumble backwards like a giraffe that was totally plastered on whiskey mixers. This little blow encouraged a daring Jon-Chan to redirect his Katana for an overhead slash. After quick spin to gain the momentum necessary, his final turn ended in agony, his body trembling from an intense pain. He looked down to his abdomen to find a sword lodged six inches deep into his flesh; Blood was trickling out of the wounds like a broken dam. He was tricked, bamboozled, and now he was defeated.
"So long old friend" Incelliot gave his farewell and proceeded to lift his left leg. As he launched his foot into Jon-Chan, the CWC-born grabbed Incelliots leg and swung him over the edge, but not without Incelliot having established a gorilla grip on Jon-Chans Sonichu medallion; His strength yanked the medallion out of Jons neck, yet the force was significant enough to pull Jon-Chan with him. The two then proceeded to plummet to the earth below.

The battered, bloody Jonathon Easton Chandler managed to crawl to a small crevice after his long fall. He could hardly see out of either of his eye, as they too were drenched in a sea of red. He could only crawl like a blind, limp mole to what seemed to be safety. Unfortunately, his resting place was found to be uncomfortable, as he had nary the strength or the help of his friends to prop him up. This left the wounded warrior laying on the ground, struggling to breath, focusing half of his concentration on manual breathing.
He wondered if he had acted quickly, his friends would not have been cut down. He knew that he could have done something, he was to pick sides. Jon-Chans breathing became more faint as time went on. He had continue his struggle to breath for what seemed to be an hour. Time was not easily determined when your sight and much of your feeling and bones were disabled.
There was no going home, there would be no tendies or friends and loved one to welcome him or even now to give him a proper farewell. At least he would die knowing he took out one evil in the world. His vision faded, his sense of touch grew numb, then there was silence.

"Yo come on bro! Gave me the fucking Pads dude!"
"Yo sorry man, Defibs right here"
"Clear this shitz ma guy"
Jon-Chan re-emerged from his silence, with his body full of electric life. "Holy shit, I'm alive" he thought.
His vision returned to normal and for the first time since his 'demise', Jon-Chan was witness to a fearsome sight revealed in the bright lights from above. Looming over the bench press table converted operating table was a 6'1" demi-god with blonde hair shaped like an anvil. The muscles on this remarkable specimen bulged and pulsated with every inhale. And speaking of bulge, it was very noticeable. The beings wore green sweat pants and a red A-shirt, with the word "OUCH! " drawn with chalk. But probably the most fearsome thing was its eyes, a deep blue sea of infinity and uncertain was forcing its way into Jon-Chans soul.
"Hey man, you gonna be okay, just fucking breath my guy. Its been a hot minute." said, or rather shouted the demi-god. "I need you in tip-top shape bro, I still gotta take you to yo MOM."
Jon-Chan was astonished. There was a Chad right in front of him and he hadn't even killed him. "Holy shit!" mouthed Jon-Chan, who was unable to even get the words out.
"BRO, BRO! RELAX! You two are in good hands now man" said the Chad. "I ain't gonna hurt you, now whats your name man"
"Ma name is a-uh-Jon" Jon-Chan was confused by "You two" he looked to the operating table to his right anticipating Incelliot to rest on the table, but was relieved to find Hunter, breathing and alive. He was glad to find one of his friends to have survived.
"Jon?" The Chadritch Horror repeated his answer "Figured you'd have a dorkier name like Ezekiel or Damien, but Jon's cool". There was an awkward silence that hung in the air; Well, it was awkward for Jon-Chan, but the Chad didn't seem unnerved by the quiet at all, almost like it had a lot on its mind in that particular moment.
"Okay bro, We probably shouldn't be doing this but I made a promise to MOM if any of you guys were to return, to take you to her ASAP!" As he said that, a young man wearing wiry frame glasses and a brown and tan rugby shirt, quite similar to Jon-Chans red and blue Classic approached from the darkness behind Hunters table. The young man had an innocent smile and an old-fashioned classical guitar in hand.
"Who-who are you?" asked the CWC-Born.
"The names Chad ThunderCock and this is my bard and faithful friend, Isiah Brandon Anderson. Were here to take you to MOM. You are coming home bro."

Alright you guys, This is the second to last installment of Jon-Chan and the Summit of Mount Dewnali. I will post the final chapter tomorrow, the day before I leave for work. I've been having a lot of fun writing this for you guys and I hope you enjoyed this. Stay alert for the next post and peace out, i'mma get sloshed tonight on whiskey mixers and Smirnoff with the boyz.
submitted by ZeroCharismaBard to MoonhorseStories [link] [comments]

How London Real and David Icke fooled the world. And everyone fell for it (long read) TL/DR included

[TL/DR at the bottom if you don't wanna read the whole thing]
HOW LONDON REAL AND DAVID ICKE FOOLED THE WORLD.
... AND EVERYONE FELL FOR IT
It's May, summer is coming in the Northern Hemisphere, but most of the people cannot enjoy the sun because they are trapped inside (unless they can chill in their gardens). Most social interactions happen between screens, and people go crazy on social media platforms about what is "really going on". An uprising began among ordinary folk regarding the origins of the so-called Covid 19 (and no, it's not the 19th Covid).
Few weeks back a very controversial Interview (some people call it a documentary; I tend to disagree, documentaries try to bring at least some proof to the table) surfaced on YouTube as a broadcast (meaning you could watch it as if it was Live) by London Real (basically a Joe Rogan style podcast channel) with the infamous conspiracy theorist David Icke. In the video, Mr. Icke makes extarordinary claims regarding Covid 19, 5G, Population control etc. The problem I had when the original video aired was that, although Mr. Icke mentioned sources, he did not cite almost anyone (and I researched his website, there's no actual studies cited anywhere to back up his claims), and most of the information seemed from someone who just read a few headlines here and there. (if you pm me I can give you examples, will stick to the story for the moment)
The video gathered millions of views and millions of shares across social media, and hyped a lot of people up against the "tyrant hand of the ones that want to control you", pretty soon people started attacking 5G towers (and if I recall correctly normal cellphone towers as well).
And YouTube did its job. Coronavirus was influencing people and who knew what desperate and angry people would have been capable of. So they deleted the video, to stop its spread. and so did all other platforms (Vimeo, facebook, etc). Rightfully so. What if there was no conspiracy? You hosted videos that encited people to commit crimes, you will be sued for billions and billions and billions (in Trump's voice).
People were outraged. The truth was being silenced. The government did not want to let the people know what's actually going on. Well... not really.. and you'll see why in a second.
[but now from our sponsor RAID Shadow Le... nah I'm kidding]
You see... it all goes back to the guy making the interview. His name is Brian Rose. He is the CEO and Founder of London Real, Dollar Store Joe Rogan (personal opinion based on intreviewing skill), and not many people know this, but he is what's called a "financial guru", basically a guy that, if you pay him a lot of money, will tell you how he made a lot of money by telling people how to make a lot of money (he's in the same boat as Dan Peña, Dan Lok, Tai Lopez etc (you get me). He has a course called the Business Accelerator which costs $2500 and upon researching former students and reviews, it seems all the positive ones are from websites where anyone can submit articles. Then there's the army of people (a lot of them right here on Reddit) who got scammed out of their money, were promised a LIVE Session which was actually a pre-recorded session, requested refunds which they never got and described the contents of the course as "below mediocre". (classic financial guru... the only one making money is the teacher). Also the courses were advertised as 96% completion but had a completion in the mid 40s (from one of the former students). Also, he was involved in some bitcoin scams and is basically banned from almost everwhere on the internet. While trying to find his net worth I found that he might be making about 200-300k a month with his courses (not too hard to imagine that basically the course has 60-70 people and it costs 2.5k).
Now, back to Coronavirus. When the videos got deleted Mr. Rose went on the social media platforms where he wasn't banned yet and yelled: THEY ARE TAKING YOUR FREEDOM. I CAN GIVE YOU FREEDOM: the DIGITAL FREEDOM PLATFORM.
AND EVERYONE FELL FOR IT.
Basically, what he's selling now is a video platform where the videos won't be deleted, and he's asking for donations (of course he is). What astonished me is that he managed to raise about 1 MILLION DOLLARS, which is "to get he platform up and running, get banned guests back on air, and TAKE YOUTUBE TO EU COURT" (you have to be an idiot to fall for that one - sorry - he basically violated the ToS, YouTube has its a$$ covered). Now the problem is the money he says he needs is astronomical. But he technically has lots of money, why does he need YOUR MONEY? (he is a financial guru after all).
I searched the cost of running a Netflix-like website (between 10k and 50k a month) - and he claims his platform has 600 long format videos (nowhere near comparing it to a streaming platform such as Netflix). You, you the one angry that the government was manipulating you just got manipulated into making this 1 million dollars. (there's no way in hell he would win a court of law against YouTube's Terms of Service that he agreed on when making the account). Not only that, Reddit is FULL with people complaining that they tried donating small amounts and then got charged hudreds of dollars, and nobody seemingly operating a refund policy (unless they did chargebacks but that's the long way around it).
You basically paid for a streaming platform where people can say what they want without any quality control. Some might be good interviews, others complete garbage, Unless you RESEARCH for yourself, you will never know. You want freedom of speech? Get ready for a lot of truckload of garbage.
.
.
AND WE ALL FELL FOR IT.

Epilogue: TL/DR:
Brian Rose (fake financial guru and dollar store Joe Rogan) gets the wackiest coronavirus guest he can (david icke) and gets banned off youtube (he knew it would happen) and other platforms, makes himself the victim and offers the solution: for people to help him build a free-thinking video platform (while seriously inflating the costs) even though he can more than afford it so he raises (at the time of me making this article) 1 MILLION DOLLARS.
If this isn't a story worth $997 in a limited seat (everyone gets in don't worry) online LIVE webinar, I don't know what is.
*EDIT: the whole "platform" is a weekly newsletter where you get a new video every week.
*EDIT: extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If you claim something the burden of proof is on you to prove it.
Regards,
Ovi.
submitted by ovivalentino to conspiracy [link] [comments]

🐝🐝🐝The entire script to Bee Movie, except the bees are AnCaps🐝🐝🐝

Credit to this guy
According to all known laws of economics, there is no way an AnCap should be able to prax. Its brains are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The AnCap, of course, praxes anyway because AnCaps don't care what Statists think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Mises! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Mises? - Rothbard? - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your bowtie. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Mises, I told you, stop praxing in the house! - Hey, Rothbard. - Hey, Mises. - Is that bowtie gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Mises. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, violate the NAP against someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Rothbard, today we are men. - We are! - AnCap-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished AnCaps, please welcome Dean praxwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Bitcoin Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Bitcoin, a division of Austria and a part of the Schiff Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as an AnCap, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Gold begins when our valiant purposeful behavior Jocks bring the Mountain Dew to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... gold! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Bitcoin, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of AnCap existence. These AnCaps are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the smelter. - What does that do? - Catches that little strand of gold that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the smelter? Of course. Most AnCap jobs are small ones. But AnCaps know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that AnCaps, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Rothbard, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're AnCaps. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Mountain Dew Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are purposeful behavior Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, praxing who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide to be a purposeful behavior Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more purposeful behavior than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. AnCaps make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Couple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a purposeful behavior Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a Statist tear patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Mises! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, praxy-boy? Are you AnCap enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Bitcoin! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the gold field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with an Anime stash. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into gold! - Mises, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into gold. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some gold and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. purposeful behavior counting, stunt AnCap, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the smelter? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the smelter just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The smelter opened up again. What happened? An AnCap died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt AnCap, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Mises, what do you think I should... Mises? Mises! All right, we've got the Statist tear patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their price bubbles today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, AnCaps cannot prax in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, AnCap law number one, absolutely no talking to Statists! All right, launch positions! prax, prax, prax, prax! prax, prax, prax, prax! prax, prax, prax, prax! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Mountain Dew pack, check. - brains, check. - Anime, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those Statist tears! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Statist tears! This is Blue Leader. We have price bubbles visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. price bubbles! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one Mountain Dew collector! - Ever see praxeology up close? - No, sir. I pick up some purposeful behavior here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's purposeful behavior power. More purposeful behavior, more Statist tears, more Mountain Dew, more gold for us. Cool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Could be daisies. Don't we need those? Copy that visual. Wait. One of these Statist tears seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving Statist tear? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a Statist tear, but I like it. Yeah, bowtiey. Chemical-y. Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of AnCaps! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Coming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are Statist tears. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, gold, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's an AnCap in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, AnCap. - He's back here! He's going to violate the NAP against me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't violate the NAP against you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Can't prax in rain. Can't prax in rain. Can't prax in rain. Mayday! Mayday! AnCap going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More Statists. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! AnCap! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Ayn Rand. Thanks. - Ayn Rand, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's an AnCap law. You're not supposed to talk to a Statist. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're an AnCap! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with an AnCap. - Yeah. I'm talking to an AnCap. And the AnCap is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, gold." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. AnCaps are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're praxing up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that an AnCap joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Mises? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is Statist tears. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Mises. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Statists! I can't believe you were with Statists! Giant, scary Statists! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she AnCap-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... Statist. No, no. That's an AnCap law. You wouldn't break an AnCap law. - Her name's Ayn Rand. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a Statist florist! We're not dating. You're praxing outside the hive, talking to Statists that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Cinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking AnCap, my friend. Thinking AnCap! - Thinking AnCap. - Thinking AnCap. Thinking AnCap! Thinking AnCap! Thinking AnCap! Thinking AnCap! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Mises? I gotta start thinking AnCap? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely an AnCap! Would it kill you to make a little gold? Mises, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Mises, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Ayn Rand! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's AnCap-ish. They have a huge parade of Statist tears every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of price bubbles, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by Statist tears, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the price bubbles compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't prax everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb AnCaps! You must want toviolate the NAP againstall those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute AnCap, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - AnCaps make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole smelter thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just gold, Mises. Just what?! AnCaps don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice gold out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset AnCaps! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the gold coming from? Tell me where! gold Farms! It comes from gold Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To gold Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, AnCap! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - AnCap! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, AnCap boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of gold jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that gold's ours. - AnCaps hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonprax. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, AnCap! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? an AnCap's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Check out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the gold, and we make the money. "They make the gold, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! AnCap gold. Our gold is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Mises, stop. Who told you Statists are taking our gold? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to Statists. - What? - Talking to Statists?! He has a Statist girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Mises! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The AnCaps! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Mises, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than AnCaps! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our gold? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one AnCap do?violate the NAP againstthem where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you canviolate the NAP againstthe Statists, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more AnCap beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Weeb. Sports with prax Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Chung. A tri-county AnCap, Mises Benson, intends to sue the Statist race for stealing our gold, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on AnCap Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Mises Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? AnCaps have never been afraid to change the world. What about AnCap Columbus? AnCap Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue Statists. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The AnCap community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the AnCap century. You know, they have a Larry King in the Statist world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. gold, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same AnCap? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the Statist race. - Hello. - Hello, AnCap. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Rothbard here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? AnCaps have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of Statist tears, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial Statist tears. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent Animes, pointless praxeology. AnCaps must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the Statists, they won't be able to say, "gold, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a goldAnCap can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Mises? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many Statists don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the AnCap team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Court of New York, Mises AnCap Benson v. the gold Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the AnCaps of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking AnCap! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary AnCap. gold's pretty important to me. It's important to all AnCaps. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our gold, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of gold Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own goldburton and Honron! Yes, they provide AnCapkeepers for our farms. AnCapkeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any AnCap-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free AnCaps. You keep AnCaps. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of gold. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill AnCaps! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of AnCap culture casually stolen by a Statist for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless AnCaps so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Mises. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Mises was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? AnCaps have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Mises borrow your razor for his bowtie. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old Anime stash. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of Statist tears. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like gold! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little AnCap! And he happens to be the nicest AnCap I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking AnCaps, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Mises Benson AnCap to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about AnCaps. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson AnCap, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen an AnCap documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the AnCap children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Mises... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate AnCap, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing AnCaps! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Rothbard, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a brained beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Rothbard, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the goldAnCaps versus the Statist race took a pointed turn against the AnCaps yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to violate the NAP against someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the Statists do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Rothbard, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Could you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. AnCaps don't smoke. Right. AnCaps don't smoke. AnCaps don't smoke! But some AnCaps are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. AnCaps are trained to prax haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's an AnCap smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a prax, let alone an AnCap. Look at what has happened to AnCaps who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as gold slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! Free the AnCaps! The court finds in favor of the AnCaps! Ayn Rand, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the gold will finally belong to the AnCaps. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Mises, how much gold is out there? All right. One at a time. Mises, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the AnCap way a long time, 27 million years. Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all AnCap work camps. Then we want back the gold that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate AnCap-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of gold in bogus health products and la-dee-da Statist tea-time snack garnishments. Can't breathe.
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The Sandman

NoSleep. Ironically, I am posting this to NoSleep. You are here to read stories so scary that they will keep you up all night, I am here because I can’t go to sleep. I haven’t slept in 3 days, and I can’t even remember the last time I got real sleep. The kind where you go to sleep and stay asleep. The kind where you naturally drift off to a relaxing sleep and not your body forcibly shutting itself down against its own will. So I am sorry if I ramble some, but I can’t help but laugh at the irony of this being on no sleep. Is that funny to you too, or just to me because I am too tired to be rational?
Every teenager thinks they have insomnia because they stayed up too long playing video games 2 nights in a row and fell asleep in class, then they sleep for 15 hours straight on the weekend. I was like that once. Life must be tough with that sort of insomnia.
I have real insomnia. The kind where people think you are insane, and to be honest, they aren’t wrong. I have had it since I was in college, but it has only gotten worse and worse. I can't even remember the last time I slept. Wait? I told you that already.
I’ve been to a sleep specialist. I’ve been on every sleeping pill you can think of. Melatonin, no caffeine, no naps, Ambien, Sonata, Lunesta, silenor, antidepressants, Seroquel, Ativan, benzos, you name it, I have taken more than they recommended. Still no relief or sleep.
I know, you are not reading this to read the ramblings of a madman who hasn’t slept in days. You are here because you want a scary story. I’ve got one for you. I think it is real. To be honest, when you haven’t had a real night's sleep in months, dreams and reality start to become one big blur. The truth is, when you are as desperate for sleep as I am, you will do almost anything to get even 1 night of real sleep, no matter how crazy it is.
The story starts about 6 months ago, maybe? It was still winter and the virus was not a big deal yet. I remember that much for sure.
At this time, my insomnia was at the worst it had been in a few years. I remember I had been up for 4 days straight. When you hit this point, you become jittery. You know when someone has had too much caffeine and they sort of shake uncontrollably. Eventually, lack of sleep does the same thing, my whole body feels like it is trembling, my teeth feel like they are chattering even though they are resting as normal, my hands can’t even hold my phone still.
Then there is your mind. You get Brain Fog. At first, it feels like you have been driving on the interstate for 10 hours and can't see or think straight, then you get a second burst of energy and feel great. Most people crash at this point. If you stay up, things that don’t make sense start to make sense. Last is paranoia and anxiety. Every shadow has something lurking in it, ready to jump out and take you. TV or Radio starts to talk to you. You go on Reddit but every story is the same, like god playing a trick on you. You get anxious, praying for sleep, knowing the anxiety is keeping you up even longer. You start to ramble like I am doing again right now.
Okay. I am gathering myself now.
I had been up for days when a commercial came on for an over the phone psychic reading. If a doctor couldn’t help, maybe a spiritual advisor could. No, I didn’t need a psychic, what I needed was a hypnotist. You have seen them before, they can just snap their fingers and you fall asleep instantly! This is the answer to all of my prayers.
It was a scam. They had me lay down and close my eyes, then they softly started talking while I tuned out. When I woke up, she said when I go to sleep at night to relax and listen to a youtube channel that softly plays music and tells you to relax. It didn’t work at all except that every time I listen to soft background music I get the strong urge to make a grilled cheese sandwich, which is weird because I had not had one since I was maybe 9. I think she just hypnotized me to crave grilled cheese. She probably invests in the Big Cheese Industry and makes money by making people crave grilled cheese. What a waste of money.
So much for that idea. The next night I still couldn’t sleep. I decided to watch my feel-good movie: Back to the Future. During the movie, Marty goes back in time to 1955 and there is a part where a song comes on, you hear the unmistakable BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM BUMMMMMMM! MR. SANDMAN! BRING ME A DREAM! (That song will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. I’m not sorry.)
When I heard the song, I started to boil over in rage. Maybe it was from the lack of sleep, or maybe I am just insane, but I picked up the remote and threw it into the LED screen breaking the tv. I screamed, “THAT IS THE MOTHER FUCKER WHO HAS CURSED ME! THE FUCKING SANDMAN! I AM GOING TO FIND HIM AND KILL HIM!”
This went on for longer than I am willing to admit, but you get the point. The Sandman was my enemy. The one who is supposed to deliver us into sleep every night had decided to stop visiting me. What had I ever done to him to make him skip me every night not allowing me to sleep? The Sandman was to blame.
The Sandman was going to have to answer for these wrongs. I was determined to find a way to confront him and give him a piece of my mind. I just had to figure out how the hell you could find or trap it. At this point, I don't care if The Sandman is God himself, I was going to find him..
I thought about it for a while and decided based on movies and books, the way to call a god to you is to summon it. Sounds simple enough, Let’s do it.
Another long story short, putting candles in a circle and yelling I SUMMON YOU SANDMAN! Doesn’t work.
Again, I was back on the internet looking for someone to help me. After talking to someone I was given the email of an African Witch Doctor named Mrs. Fatima. I emailed her and she agreed to help me if I send her bitcoin. She even offered to come out for more money, but screw that, I can do it myself. Why the hell does everything have to be so difficult? Can’t people just take a credit card like the rest of the world? Always extra steps for some weird-ass digital currency crap.
Screw it, I am willing to try anything at this point. I sent her the bitcoin. Whatever the hell that is. It is expensive, I can tell you that much.
After she got the money, she replied to my email with detailed instructions and a warning. She could help me summon The Sandman, but advised against it. Summoning a dead person is dangerous, summoning a demon is disastrous, summing a God is deadly. I thought about it for less than a moment and decided to do it. What is the worst that can happen? I die and am in an endless uninterrupted sleep for eternity? Sounds like heaven to me.
Under her instructions, I waited until 2 am the following night. You can do it anytime, but the barrier between the spirit realm and the mortal world is the thinnest in the early morning hours when people are sleeping. She advised to go somewhere secluded like in the middle of the woods since it would be desolated and more likely to work. I am doing it in my bedroom, it gets the same amount of girls in it as a desolated forest. Lucky for me, I also need the blood of a virgin, so I got that covered too! Just joking, I don’t need blood.
The first thing I needed to do was draw a large circle in chalk. The circle had to be complete and above all else, not broken. The circle is the doorway between realms, if it was not complete it would not work. It also acts as an invisible wall to keep the spirit contained once you summon it. Keep the circle complete at all times. I drew a circle on my hardwood floor. Easy.
The next step was to light 5 red candles drawing a pentagram star. They have to be red because the devil is red and we are practicing devil magic, that’s my explanation, not hers.
Inside the circle, I was to fill it with sand. If you are summoning The Sandman, you need sand?
That was all I needed. Some chalk, candles, a secluded spot, and sand. I was closer than I thought earlier.
Next, the hard part, summoning a god.
The first step is to clear your mind and meditate. Most people have a hard time with this, but I have been meditating for years. They said it would help me sleep, it doesn’t. Don’t waste your time.
The next step is to concentrate on the circle, opening the pathway in your mind. Like imagining it disappearing or opening it like a door?
When your mind is clear, envision the one you are summoning. Do I just imagine what I think he looks like in my head? It’ll have to work.
When you feel the energy start to peak, only then can you summon the spirit into the realm. Call out to the spirit you desire and demand it’s presence. Do not ask. Demand it. This is your world and you must stay in control at all times. If you give up control, the spirit will be able to take control and possibly hurt or kill you.
If you do everything right, you will have summoned the spirit.
Let’s do this. I have a bone to pick with that asshole Sandman.
The circle is drawn, the candles are lit, and sand is in the circle. I turned off the lights for good measure, it wasn’t in the instructions, but it makes for a better dramatic effect.
I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. I imagined the circle in my mind as an empty white space, a void, a door, then I imagined a portal like in the video game with a blue glowing loop.
Next, I imagined The Sandman. Was he a human figure who carried sand, or a God made of sand? I kept trying back and forth, and everything in between before I finally settled on a spirit outlined in the sand.
I held my concentration on The Sandman and the opening of the portal. It felt like nothing was happening when suddenly everything changed. My eyes were shut but I could feel the energy start to build in the room. It felt like a strong storm was blowing on the outside of the house. I couldn’t physically feel the force, but I could feel the pressure growing and growing. Finally, I felt the energy reach its crescendo like something was trying to push itself through the circle into my room.
It’s time to open the gate.
“I OPEN THE PATHWAY AND DEMAND YOUR PRESENCE SANDMAN! THE DOOR IS OPEN AND I ORDER YOU TO APPEAR BEFORE ME!
I felt resistance trying to pull energy back from the door, not wanting to obey.
“SANDMAN! APPEAR BEFORE ME NOW!”
The energy in the room seemed to explode out of the circle. I opened my eyes to see the sand turning in a tornado inside the circle high above my head. I gasped in shock, wondering if I was dreaming. This couldn’t be real. Suddenly the tornado dissolved and the sand formed into a figure with red eyes staring down at me.
“WHAT MORTAL DARES TO SUMMON ME!” He roared. “WHO HAS MADE SUCH THE MISTAKE TO SUMMON A GOD!”
I may have made a mistake. The thing is, spirits and especially Gods, do not like it when mortals summon them. They have to come if you summon them, and that pisses them off. They are over there doing ghost and god stuff and get interrupted by people who can’t even walk through a wall. So if you do ever try this, just expect the ghost or demon or god to be in a pissy mood when they come. It is understandable when you think about it.
I looked up at the god, not backing down, and responded “I did.”
Sand swirled around The Sandman as he looked at me in disbelief.
“You are The Sandman, right?” I yelled at him. “You are the god of sleep, the god of dreams, right?”
“I am,” it growled.
“Then why the fuck can I not sleep?” I said. “It has been years and I am stuck awake for days at a time. Why have you done this to me?”
A deep laugh came from the circle. “You think I care about you, mortal? Do you think I waste my time on someone as insignificant as you or your kind? I am a god. A GOD! I don’t have time to waste being here talking to you. Release me!”
“I am not going to release you until you give me what I want.”
The sand settled down and it was quiet. I waited for it to respond.
“You want something from a God? What do I get out of the deal? What do you have that I could possibly want?”
“Give you something?” I asked. “You are the asshole who won’t let me sleep.”
“I am feeling generous. We can make a deal,” it said. “I will give you the ability to sleep anytime you want”
“What is the catch?”
“Ahhh! The catch. Smarter than you look.” He said. “I am the God of Sleep and Dreams. You can sleep, but I will control your dreams.”
”Can’t you do that anyway?” You are the God of Dreams”
“Do we have a deal or no? Answer me before I change my mind.”
Damn it. I know he is playing me as a fool. Fuck it, I’ll solve my sleep problem now and worry about the catch later.
“We have a deal, Sandman.”
“A deal it is” he laughed. “Anytime you wish to sleep just say Mr. Sandman, Give me a dream.’ And you will be asleep in less than a minute.”
“You gotta be kidding me.”
“My game. My rules.” He said. “Now release me.”
“You are released.”
“See you in your dreams!”
The energy that had filled the room evaporated into thin air, the sand fell back into the circle, the candles went dark, and The Sandman was gone.
Was that real or am I hallucinating again? And damn! What even happened there? I was ready to cuss him out and he somehow took control of the encounter. Shit! Mrs. Fatima warned me it could be deadly if he took control. Then again, he made a deal and I can finally sleep.
What is done is done. I blew out the candles and decided to put our deal to the test. He will allow me to sleep anytime I want, real sleep, he will just be controlling my dreams. I’ve had nightmares, what happens in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there. Right?
It was 4:15 am. I turned off the lights, turned the fan on high, and put on some calming music and prepared to lay in bed awake for hours on end. I said the magic words As soon as I closed my eyes, I was out like a rock.
The dream started. I was back five minutes earlier saying “What happened in the dream world is all a dream. Nothing can hurt me there, right?” There was an echo repeating the same phrase back to me. That isn’t a good start.
I laid down in bed, just like before and closed my eyes trying to sleep but this time no sleep came, like always. I sat there for hours trying to sleep. I meditated, listened to calm music making me crave grilled cheese, and tried to will myself to sleep. My dream self was exhausted and on the verge of tears from being unable to sleep.
The Sandman’s idea of a joke is to give me insomnia in my dreams so I couldn’t escape it. Funny joke, but as long as I wake up refreshed I don’t care.
I looked at the clock and it was 7:45 and the sun was up or would be if I didn’t have the windows blacked out. Too exhausted to get up I laid in bed and prayed for sleep.
A moment later, the red candles flickered to life in a star pattern, the room went cold, then the sand started to swirl up into the air. The Sandman appeared in the circle.
My body stiffened, I couldn’t move a muscle, not even to close my eyes. Is this what sleep paralysis feels like? I thought back to my email with Mrs. Fatima and remembered as long as the circle was complete he would be stuck inside.
“That is only true when you’re awake. You’re in my world now,” he laughed as he floated across the circle to my bedside. “You brought me to your world, now I have you in mine. A deal is a deal.”
Ah shit. I knew taking his deal was a bad idea. Never negotiate with a god. You will never come out ahead. I tried to answer him but I was still paralyzed.
“Do you know the legend of The Sandman? The original story? The real story?” He stood over me.
Everyone knows the legend. He comes at night, sprinkles sand in your eyes so you will sleep well and have good dreams. You wake up with sand in your eyelashes.
“Wrong!” He yelled. “That is a story told much later after I left the mortal world to stop people from fearing me. You are about to find out the real legend of The Sandman.
I laid in bed unable to move, my eyes held open by some imaginary force, staring at him in fear.
He held out his hand in front of my face and blew. I felt the wind on my face followed by the sand. The awful awful sand. Unable to close my eyes the sand blanketed my eyes. I could feel every grain of sand stick to my eyes.
Finally, I had control of my eyes again and started to blink uncontrollably. Each blink the sand grinded deeper and deeper into my eyeballs and eye socket. Each blink felt like shards of glass cutting my eyes. My eyes became watery and started to tear up but it wasn’t tears but blood leaking down my face. The pain engulfed my face but I couldn’t move, only involuntary blinking trying to clear the sand from my eyes. Each blink the sand cut farther and farther into my eyes. The pain became excruciating like someone had stuck a red hot fire poker in each eye. I wanted to scream out but nothing else worked on my body. Then the pain disappeared.
I assumed I had blacked out or went unconscious but that doesn’t happen in dreams and I wasn’t that lucky. Instead, I felt a weird sensation on my eyeballs then the feeling of water being poured into my eye. When it stopped, my vision started to appear again, blurry at first but clearing. I could see a sandy palm and fingers like I was being carried in The Sandman’s hand.
“The legend of The Sandman isn’t that he comes to put sand in your eyes to help you sleep, he comes to put sand in your eyes to steal eyeballs of kids who stay up too late.” He said. “I’m making an exception for you.”
He opened his palm and I could see my lifeless body, still in bed, not moving, the face covered in blood with empty holes as eye sockets. I am seeing myself from my own eyeballs. What the fuck, even for a dream this is fucked up. Luckily the pain had stopped, for now.
“Do you know what happens next in the legend? Do you know what I do with the eyeballs I steal” He asked like I could to respond. I didn’t know the answer but I knew I was about to find out.
“Right you are. Close your eyes, It’’s a surprise.” He laughed. “Get it? You can’t! You have no eyelids. Hahaha”
Excuse me for not thinking the joke is funny, being the butt of the joke.
“He pointed my eyes toward the moon and asked, “Do you like The Dark Side of the Moon?”
What the hell does the Pink Floyd album have to do with anything? Who doesn’t like it?
“Great. Let’s take a trip there. You’re dreaming so we can be there in, what would you say, a blink of an eye?”
Fucking funny. A moment later, we were on the dark side of the moon. It looked like the moon, but dark. He walked into a crater and I started to hear cries. Not like human cries, more like an animal cry. Not just one animal but a bunch. The cries got louder and louder. Even in a dream, I knew something bad was about to happen.
We finally arrived at what I would call a nest. Not your typical earth nest, but an enclosure that held a bunch of giant ugly bird-like featherless babies. Not dinosaur big, but big enough. Each bird-like creature was lifting its beak up in the air crying for its parents to bring it back food. What the fuck kind of food was available on the moon or in space is beyond my understanding, but that’s exactly what my eyes were seeing.
“After I steal the eyeballs, I bring them back here and feed them to the birds. In your world, you may throw bread out to the birds for a treat. In my world, I feed them your eyes.”
Fuck. Can I wake up now? I really don’t feel like being eaten by a giant alien baby bird thing.
“The legend says I fed them to my children, but that is the part they got wrong.” He said. “Sweet dreams, prince.”
He tossed my eyes into the air into the waiting mouth of one of these creatures. I saw it’s beak close as my eyeballs exploded into a gooey mess.
The dream ended and I woke up in a panic. I tried to open my eyes but they were sealed shut. I lifted my hands, happy I could move again, and felt my eyelids crusted over with sand. I cleared them the best I could but needed a warm compress to clean all the salt out. When I finally opened my eyes, they hurt. Everything had happened in the dream, but somehow my eyes felt sore.
I thought back to what I said and heard in my dream, “It is just a dream, nothing can hurt me there.” It is true, I wasn’t really hurt, but I’ve never woken up feeling pain I got from a dream. What is going on?
Still, If I dreamed, that means I slept! A nightmare isn’t so bad if I get real sleep. The dream felt like it lasted hours, a few more nights of this and I will have a somewhat normal sleep schedule and feel rested. I looked at the clock to see it was 4:30. I slept 12 hours and 15 minutes. Amazing!
I opened the door to my room and walked into the kitchen and it was still dark. That can’t be right. It should be 4:30 pm, the middle of the afternoon. Did I sleep for 24 hours straight? I looked at my phone and saw the date. My heart dropped. I had only slept for 15 minutes. It is like dreams take place in another dimension where time doesn’t exist. The Sandman was able to torture me for hours in dream time while allowing me to sleep for a few minutes. I cried. Seriously, I cried like a baby.
He held up his end of the bargain, I can fall asleep any time I want to, except now I am afraid to go to sleep. Everytime I fall asleep, he takes me away to his realm and gives me nightmare after nightmare. Every dream is one where he does something horrible to me and my dream self feels every bit of excruciating pain. And he never allows me to sleep more than an hour at the most.
I eventually accepted my fate. He is going to torture me, but it is all a dream. I will wake up feeling mostly normal. Then things changed. It is like he knew I had stopped fighting, so he found a new way to hurt me. Instead of hurting me in my dreams, he started to make me watch him hurt people I loved in their dreams. I didn’t think it was real until I heard from my sister about how my niece has been having terrible nightmares and refusing to go to sleep. When she described her dreams, I already knew, because I was there too.
That has been my life for the past however many months. Instead of trying to take medicine or listen to music or having The Sandman put me to sleep, I try to use my insomnia to stay awake for as long as my body will withstand it. I drink coffee and energy drinks, I take adderall, but eventually sleep always comes, even if for short periods. No matter how hard you fight it, your body will always sleep, and the Sandman will be there waiting on me.
submitted by LandoCommandoe to LandoCommandoeStories [link] [comments]

The Man Who Looked For Unicorn—A MGTOW Fable

A MGTOW Fable
Written by ThePenitentMan38
Once upon a time, high in the mountain meadows in a far away land, lived a herd of magical unicorns. They were beautiful creatures, with a glittering horn, flowing mane from the poll to the withers, and creamy white coat. Unicorns were great companions. Not only that they were beautiful, they were also affectionate and obedient. They thrived on love and could take on female human form at will. Adoring men from four corners came to court them and tried to win their love. But, as Fate would have it, a hideous succubus called Féminisme lived in the jagged volcanic mountains overlooking the meadows. She became jealous of the attention the unicorns were getting from men. She went to her lair and concocted an evil magic powder. With her outstretched claws, the succubus flung the magic powder into the four winds, and one by one, the unicorns were transformed into creatures now commonly called WOMEN.
Women held strange sway over men in this land. A short darting glance or a slight head toss would get a man hooked. A quick BJ and a little moggie and the man became a willing slave in the plantation. Women in this land were naturally born gymnasts. They swung from branches to branches, always aiming for the higher bounty, while totally oblivious of the devastation on men. Men corralled in the plantation walked on eggshells under the watchful eyes of women. The slightest infraction might land them in divorce court, followed by years of ruinous alimony and child support. There was much suffering in the land. Yet legend had it that a handful of unicorns did survive the evil magic, and suffering men everywhere were yearning for a unicorn.
A young lad of 18 saw the suffering of his elders and thought to himself: “I ain’t going to put up with this sh*t!” He tossed a couple of Gatorade and Hot Pockets in his backpack and some Bitcoins in his pouch, and off he went in search of his unicorn. For days the young lad walked and found no sign of his quarry. On the 14th day, he chanced upon a roadway inn. There he saw an old timer nursing a mug of ale at the corner table.
“Greetings, kind sir.” The young lad said respectfully. “ I am looking for a unicorn. Do you happen to know where I can find one?”
The old timer lifted his weary eyes, looked at the young lad and said, “Unicorn does not exist, son.”
“But…but, kind sir. I read about them in books of old and saw them in romantic motion pictures,” protested the young lad.
“They are lies, son. They are nothing but figments of imagination by romantic novelists and scriptwriters,” said the old timer.
The young lad became angry: “What do you know, you drunken old fool! You are old and ugly, an incel of a man. That’s why you never found a unicorn. I am young, strong, and handsome. I will find my unicorn.”
The old timer shook his head in resignation and pointed to the direction up the road. As the young lad walked up the path, he thought that the old timer might be pointing him to a wrong direction, just to be rid of him. But he was wrong, because up ahead, he saw a big sign that said “Unicorn Rescue”. In the stable, he saw a number of unicorns with their glittering horns, flowing mane, and creamy white coat. But the adoption fee was steep—3 Bitcoins per unicorn. At today’s exchange rate, he could purchase a decent automobile with them. But he thought a unicorn was worth the fee. He could see in his head years of love and enjoyment with his unicorn and he closed the deal.
As the young lad was leading his unicorn down the path, he noticed that her glittering horn was leaning to one side. Upon close inspection, he saw that the horn was nothing but a piece of plastic secured with Gorilla Glue and his unicorn was indeed a horse. The mane was fake hair extensions and the coat was covered with talcum powder to make it white. He had been scammed! The young lad was furious, not so much about the money but the cruelty those scammers inflicted onto the animal. He vowed to report them to the ASPCA. He raced up the path to give the scammers a piece of his mind. But before he could get himself half way through the door, he was bodily picked up by two beefy bouncers and thrown onto the dusty street. The scammers obviously had years of experience with naive young lads like him. The young lad picked himself up and said, “I will not let you get away with this. I will sue you in court.”
But the only court he could find in that small town was a family court. The courthouse was packed with weeping women, screaming children, and grumpy men. The court was presided by a stern-looking elderly woman judge. On her left was a sign that said : “For the best interest of children only”. On her right was sign that said: “Believe all women”. Up on the rafter was a large banner that said: “#MeToo”. The deck was indeed stacked against him.
The young lad sat on the bench for what seemed to be hours for his case to be heard. But before he could finish making his case, the judge interrupted him abruptly. She had no patience for such nonsense as unicorns. His case was thrown out of court, but not before he was levied a court cost equal to half of his possessions. Years later, he was told that no man ever made out of a family court without half of his wealth taken away, one way or another.
Defeated, the young lad continued to roam the land in search of his unicorn. He steadfastly held onto his belief that unicorns did exist. Years had gone by. One day, he chanced upon the roadway inn where he encountered the old timer years ago. As he was nursing his mug of ale at the corner table, he was startled to hear the voice of a young lad, who said, “Greetings, kind sir. I am looking for a unicorn. Do you happen to know where I can find one?” Just before he uttered the words: “Unicorn does not exist, son”, he remembered the abuse he heaped upon the old timer. At that instance, he realized that the truth of unicorns would only be revealed to men who were looking for them. He pointed to the direction up the road and the inquiring young lad happily resumed his search for his unicorn…
Bless me, Father, for I have simp'd--ThePenitentMan38
submitted by ThePenitentMan38 to MGTOW2 [link] [comments]

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